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London is like a little country on it’s own. Sure, it stands for everything British, but it is quite different from the rest of England. The overpopulation, the rich cultural and ethnic diversity and most noticeably – the attitude. Even if you are not born and raised in the city, to become a true Londoner you have to have the attitude. That’s when some things you thought were pretty weird or bizarre become part of your everyday. Things like …

#1 Your tempo of walking on the streets becomes ten times faster. There are only two gears for you, standing still or trying to break the record at racewalking. If you accidentally slow your pace everyone looks at you with disgust while passing you over.

#2 “Tube”, “Underground”, “Metro” and “Subway” start to mean four very different things to you. Subway being your everyday dinner; Metro standing for the thing you gather your information about life from; Underground is the place of hidden bars you like ; and the Tube is your only mean of transportation to anywhere and everywhere.

#3 You know that renting a Boris Bike is not a good idea after you nearly died 3 times the last time you rented one.

#4 From then on you hate cyclist as mush as you hate cars. They don’t belong on the sidewalk where you walk and they don’t belong on the road where they might get squished. And they most certainly don’t belong in the Tube!

#5 You’ve forgotten what a sunny Summer looks like. When it finally comes you feel the urge to spent as much time as possible outside during the whole three days it lasts.

#6 The countryside doesn’t exist. Hyde Park is all the green you could ever want and need.

#7 And that’s totally fine since you never have any money. At all. Every penny earned is already spent either for the rent, transportation, food, emergency holidays, or if it is the seventh month of the year – new clothes.

#8 Surviving a whole week on nothing than fast-food is not only acceptable, it is the norm. The only exception is ordering something fancy on pay day. You don’t really know why you posses a stove but at this point you’re too used to having it as an extra drawer.

#9 You can describe your day using only images from London Grumblr. In fact, that site is the only thing that understands you and what you can relate to.

#10 The idea of paying £1000+ a month for a closet with a bed and a sink is not only acceptable, but even considered as luck.

#11 Fallen asleep at the tube only to awake on the last stop is nothing scary. You just accept you’ll give half a month worth of salary for the cab fair to go back.

#12 Using your Oyster card while still in your wallet is now a reflex you don’t have to think about.

#13 You no longer giggle when you reach “Cockfoster” station.

#14 You have the domestic cleaning company’s phone number on speed dial, just in case you might get lucky later that day.

Posted by Joel Patterson | No Comments